AFP University: How to be Effective in Informal Debates

PURPOSE: Those who master basic debating skills will be the most effective in public life and (often) in private life too. Whether debating with your spouse, your employer, your friends at a coffee shop, or a your state senator, using basic debating tools will improve your chances of winning any argument. The purpose of this course is to provide you with these basic debating tools...

1. Identify Your Audience!

Who are you really talking to in your debate? Obviously, if you are in a private one-on-one discussion, your audience will be the person you are talking to. But if you are at a family event, a coffee shop, a TV or radio show, or a service club, think carefully about it - it is possible that your real audience will be those around you who are listening, not the person you are debating with. It might be smart to aim at convincing THEM instead of your opponent!

2. ALWAYS be Nice... No Matter What!

Political debates can be vigorous and emotional. But when an issue becomes too emotional or personal, reason stops working as a tool of persuasion.  If you find yourself raising your voice, calling people "idiots" (especially those you are debating with), pointing fingers at faces to make a point, or using profanity or wild gestures, you have already lost. Those in your audience will see any display of temper as a sign of desperation, weakness, and frustration. Let your opponents lose THEIR temper. Whenever they get meaner, you get nicer. You will come off as being reasonable, credible, and your audience will like you.

3. Your Opponent is NOT Your Enemy!

Misguided? Perhaps. Ill-informed? Very likely. Naive? Sure. But most people are well-intentioned and, like you, are doing what they truly believe will create a better world. America is about acompetition of ideas, and our founders risked everything to preserve it for us. You will build credibility with your audience, and maybe even make friends with your opponents, if you treat them as an honorable but mistaken collegues, rather than an "enemy to be slain by the sword of reason."

4. You Don't Have to Know Everything!

As much as we'd like to think so, we don't have all the answers. Who does? If your opponent raises an issue you don't have a good answer form, don't try to fake, bluster, lie, or bluff your way out of it. If your opponent makes an  interesting point, it is alright to say so; state that you would like to think about it and discuss it later. This lets you to move on to the next point, buys you time to strengthen your position, and builds your credibility with others who will see you as reasonable and a good listener. Even if you lose this debate, you opinion will carry more weight in the future. ABOVE ALL ELSE - if you use facts, and claim to know something, be SURE of the facts you cite.

5. Look for Common Ground!

Debates rarely come to any constructive conclusion unless a value is established to measure the arguments being made. For example, "cost" is a value established by debating "What is the least expensive way for us to maintain good roads?" Once this value is established, you have enough common ground for meaningful debate to take place. Ask your opponent what values they are trying to promote and share the values you are trying to promote with your opponent and your audience. Maybe your values are the same; you only disagree about how to advance them. If so, you can win by simply showing that your approach is the best. 

6. Try to Frame the Discussion by Establishing Values!

If you are promoting the virtues of chocolate, would you rather frame the discussion in terms of pleasure; "Does chocolate bring joy to people,"  or in terms of harm; "Does chocolate pose a health risk?" As you can see, whomever is able to "frame a discussion" in this way usually wins the debate. If you are not able to establish agreed values as discussed above, it is important to establish at least one value by first having a debate over what is to be achieved in the discussion.

7. Put Your BEST Arguments First!

In journalism, there is a rule saying, "Don't bury the lead!" This means, do not bury your best arguments deep in your news article. In debate, people sometimes to this with the intent of saving their knock-out blow for the end. This almost never works because leading with your weak arguments offers momentum to your opponent and you may lose your audience before you get to your strongest arguments. Always put your best arguments at the top! (The guy at the right buried his lead!)

8. Thank Your Opponent and Audience for their Time and Attention!

This is really an extension of Debate Tool #2, "Always Be Nice... No Matter What!", as shown above. Remember - no matter how obnoxious your opponent might be, he or she believed you were worth spending their time and energy on. And no matter who makes up your audience, they thought you were worth their time. Thank them, and do it with sincerity no matter how pleasant or unpleasant they may have been. You will show yourself to be a statesman/stateswoman and will earn respect as a debater - even from your opponents.

EXERCISES:

1. Pair up and choose an issue that is important to both of you. Choose opposite sides of the argument and debate it, even if you have to pretend.First, write down the values or objectives you are trying to achieve through your position. Write down what you think the most powerful arguments on your side are. Conduct a short five minute debate. Repeat, switching sides.

2. Practice the technique called "The Ransberger Pivot," to be demonstrated during discussion of item 6 as shown above. Using the topic chosen above, practice using the Ransberger Pivot and then repeat switching sides.